Really.

Currently Listening:
Neon
John Mayer
Where The Light Is (Live In Los Angles)

I wish I could just start this whole year over.

It's been really hard but just to change that one thing I said, so we'd still be good friends would be worth it.

So on a less depressing but still depressing note, I'm competely overwhelmed.
I have the scholarship to practice for
I have sunday worship and practice
youth worship and practice
and RHOP set
I have to fix my car sense it got sideswiped intensely.
I have school and graduating a year early and it's fun-ness
I have stuff to do at home.
and appearently my parents still want me to get Eagle
My lung is now fully healed but I still get pains when stressed out, nervous, and I can't do anything to active.
aaannnnnd I'm switching back to my old medication due to the new medications epic fail.

And all of this would be much easier to bare but there are two things that just kill me.
A. My parents don't aknowledge a single thing I do and just focus on the bad that happens. All I want them to say is "Good Job" that's it.
That's it.
But they don't know those words.
and you already know B.

But unfortuntely I can't restart this dreadful year. So I gotta make do and get by. I'll make it through this long rough season.
Hopefully I'll make it through okay.


Geh, why do I always know the exact thing I shouldn't say.
Then say it.

I think it's time to go to bed.

Oh how long, how long, how long?
How long before I burn away?

+Taylor+

Recent Happenings.

Currently Listening
The Scene and Herd
The Birds and The Bee Sides
Relient K

So lately I've been up to a LOT musically. Even though I was sick for two weeks. I manage to come across the oppertunity to snag a little 4,000$ scholarship for Drumming and knowing a little theory. Which is pretty rad. THUSLY. My drum set has been pimped out.
New kick head so my kick sounds RAD
New 3ply snare head so my snare sounds SEXY.
and then two toms and my crunkadelic high hats and ride.
So I'm pretty happy.
But that doesn't come with a price. Cause I'm definitely practicing EVERY day again, along with my youth practice's, RHOP, sunday practice's, and sunday worship. So It's intense, but so worth it. It's so rad to see how God's opened all these doors one by one when I thought all of mine were closed shut.
He's a pretty rad guy ya know?
hah.

In other news I have a new song "in the works". I unfortunately can't record drums, so I just did an Acoustic Version with bassing. And pentatonically solo'd my way into the stratosphere, leaving mere mortal bass's behind :P.
So yes it's call Love Or Logic. The basic jist of the lyrics is irony haha. Even though it's not evident. But it's about using your head when you have the chance to persue a relationship instead of your heart.
Which is what I've done pretty much forever. Cept once recently. But then they did what I usually do.
Hence the Irony haha. But anyways I dig it. It's on a alverez twelve string guitar with a musicman bass through a carvin amp with an swr head. So thusly it sounds WICKED : D.

It'll be up by next week cause I still gotta do vocals when I'm not sickly like.

To end I'll post the lyrics.

Love Or Logic
By Taylor Fine
You Got Me Spinin’ Around and Around
I don’t know if I should analyze this or let it down
But I don’t want to give up on what I said
I don’t want to leave us for dead
But time ain’t on our side
You’ve got feelings tryin to hide
But just let them go
Oh
Just let your heart take over your head
Tradin’ love for logic is like tradin life for death
I don’t wanna say goodbye
I just want you to say you love me one more time
One More Time
You say you don’t want us to get hurt
My dear you’re being much to careful with your words
And I don’t need space
All need a touch of your grace
I want you to know I never could hate you
And I need you to believe it when I say I love you

Oh
Just let your heart take over your head
Tradin’ logic for loves like tradin life for death
I don’t wanna say goodbye
I just want you to say you love me one more time
One More Time
Love or logic? (repeat)
(I’ll go either way)
(But please listen when I say)
Choose Wisely Baby.

Just let your heart take over your head
Tradin’ logic for loves like tradin life for death
I don’t wanna say goodbye
I just want you to say you love me one more time
One More Time

Bloomin'

Currently Listening:
Red Hands
Act II: The Meaning of & All Things Regarding Ms. Leading
The Dear Hunter

Well the new semester has finally gotten underway. I'm fully "in the grind" with my class times and schedules. And I'm extremely excited about the prospect that this is my last semester in high school and in Roseville California.
At the same time I'm scared to death about moving away to LA. Due to the fact I've never even moved in my entire life. And have gone to the same church stream for 11 years........
It's a bit of a
JUMP.

haha but that's okay makes things more interesting ya know?

In other news. My dad just acquired us a 12 string alverez that looks and sounds BEAUTIFUL.
I already got a raaaaad chord progression that is beggin for lyrics.
I'm not sure what subject to write on yet, but that's okay. I still have to finish recording vocals for Tethers.

And I've been meaning to do that sense the week after the whole "Lung" thing haha.

Thank God for getting me out before christmas. That whole experience really showed me how faithful God is.

Hallelujah to that sukkas.


Now it's time to hit up "the screwtape letters", finish my delicious Bloom Coffee, and then hang out with TJ YELLEK(aka jt kelley)

Can you dig it?

+Taylor+

Block.

Currently Listening:
Daughters
Where The Light Is (Live In L.A.)
John Mayer

I've hit a writers block musically.
Not lyrically, cause I just wrote lyrics to a song that are pretty good.
But musically.

hmmmm...

I do not like this. Lets hope I can get some ideas soon.
I believe!

P.S Anybody who's anybody should get "where the light is" by john mayer.
AMAZING.
endofstory.

+Taylor+

To Emmah.

Currently Listening:
Into The Night
A Beautiful Life
Mumsdollar

Yes your name shall always be spelled that way. I hope you've learn to cope with that by now. And yes I still listen to that song. It's a fav.
Anyway,
Because of you I'm getting six hours of sleep of which I'll probably wake up in before I play three church services + practice spanning from 7-3.
I'm also intensely sore from snowboarding with you and with my gimp lung.
I'm not getting a chance to shower tomorrow morning.
I'm also in debt of one jam session
And I'm bone broke.

I'll miss you like hell lass haha, life's more interesting with lack of sleep and good times, is what I always say.

Now it's time for dreamy dreams

G'night all.

+Taylor+

E Minor

Currently Listening:
All Is Full Of Love
The Stability E.P.
Death Cab For Cutie

You know that feeling you get right before you just give up? That feeling of persiverence? That feeling that conincides with all your warning lights and signs? It's one of those feelings I normally listen to and heed. Cause in the end it works out. But I am not quite sure if I will this time. Cause frankly, I'm though with this. I definitely don't call this working out.

Some call it setting your self apart and a "'blessing".
I call it fear mixed with bad luck and a sick sense of divine comedy. Welcome to reality kids.

All is full of love
You just ain't recieving
All is full of love
But your phone is off the hook
All is full of love
But your doors are all shut
All is full of love.....

Porcelain.

Currently Listening:
Porcelain
Play
Moby


Well tomorrow I am finally off "Lung Lockdown" as I like to call it.
Bittersweet though due to the fact I have an appointment with my Psychiatrist Dr. Hendren.
Whom I haven't been to in three years.
Btw if you forgot or are unaware I have a mild cause of Aspergers Syndrome. Which is a form of autism and I take madication for it.
I've been taking the same stuff for about five years and it works perfect and my body has come acustomed to it.
Unfortunately, it has side effects. These are always being Tired. (Which I always am) and Crappy memory. (Which I have). So I it's bittersweet but I'm okay with it.
Tomorrow I go in and we are going to "evaluate" me. Which alone freaks me out.
And then most likely change my medication which freaks me out alot. Cause that means a "switch" which includes getting off my current and getting on a new one. This usually involves fun stuff like withdrawls and freaking out body. Not excited at all.
And really really really apprehensive about it. Cause I have a hard enough time with missing two doseages (which is just one day. I take one in the morn and one at night)
So please pray it all goes smoothly.

God, I'm done with Doctors; first a tube and now this.
Hah, I think I'm good for the rest of 2009 on the whole doctor thing ya know?

Now for some great insomnia and moby to calm my thoughts.
Custom westone in-ears anyone?
Yes me please : ).

Music On World Off

+Taylor+

Home

Currently Listening:
All Is Fulll Of Love
The Photo Album
Death Cab For Cutie

Well I'm chilling in my own bedroom.
Which is awesome considering I shouldn't've (can I do that gramatically? haha) gotton out of the hospital till tomorrow. But overnight my condition rapidly increased so I'm good. I feel great now. I think the therapy of being at home is the best cure to any problem.
Stupid lungs lol.

Anyways. No Christmas spoils to report cept Emmah's rad T-shirt which wasn't my size hahaha. But It'll still work. And I got an iHome from my bro in law and sis. Cept Yesterday my sister and mum lost my iTouch. FAIL.
So that's kindof.........ironic.
Anyways. I got my stocking full of candy, coffee, giftcard for coffee, really nice shampoo and conidtionair.

Yay. Christmas is going to be next Thursday (new years day) sense none of us shopped before my lung incedint. And we couldn't shop while I was in the hospital with "the tube" lol.

So yes, it's great to be home.

I'm going to be shopping for my three gifts this weekend too, wish me luck in finding my dad's should be a bit challenging.

On a side note, I've become intensely rusty and my electric guitar work. GAH, songs I could just dish out have become a bit hard. So I gotta work on that I bit. My jamming flow is bad.
At least I know I can just pick up my drumsticks or acoustic or bass and feel better about myself. But still, I gotta practice that sucker.
And I had to replace the A string and accidentally put an E string in its place.

oops.

+Taylor+

I'm Scared.

Currently Listening:
Amsterdam
A Rush Of Blood To The Head
Coldplay

Basically I'm really scared right now.
I'm in such a helpless state.
I can't walk normal. I can't laugh. I can't even put pants on by myself.
And to top it off I'm hooked up to more wires than a power plant.
Am I really this fragile? Is life really this short? Just a few days ago I was laughing and dancing with some friends. I'm such a indepentant person who thinks I can get through so much on my own.
I rely so much on my own strength and thought.
Now I'm stuck to a chair and a bed smelling HORRID. With a pump sown from a white box into my chest. Keeping air from collapsing my lungs.
I'm so broken and scared right now......

Luckily I've recovered fast and I'm about to find out if the tube which was turned off this morning comes out or goes back on....

But really, I still seriously can't believe this is happening. I hate being in this position. It makes me cry.
It's so humbling and so good for me though.
Seriously I've learned such a big lesson through this and God's really taught me to lean on Him.
And to let others help.

That doesn't mean I'm not scared though. I have to many fobias of hospitals.
I hate them so much. They're just to much to handle for me. To much death to much fear to many needles and machines that bring you a false sense of life and hope. I don't think any of you understand how much I mean this phrase.

I just wanna go home....

Stood on the edge, tied to the noose
But you came along and you cut me loose.

Money Matters.

Currently Listening:
You're Fairer Than The Sons Of Man
John Thurlow
IHOP Streaming

So as of two days ago I had about 11 dollars to my name.

Unfortunately it's not March. It'd December so I was intenstely worried about making enough money for my friends and family's gifts.

On top of that I dropped my gutiar on the tile steps yesterday and that's going to cost me a bit too. And I have to repair it cause I was planning on selling next week to have my Gibson Acoustic by christmas.

This won't be happening.
But that's okay.

Anyways. I was really worried and last friday we had a guest speaker and a really good friend of mine come and speak at youth about his serving in cambodia. At the end they asked for an offering. I myself am very insecure about giving money in tithe and offering cause I know I barely make enough to get by and I litterally can't get a job. It's not me being lazy. I literally can't.

But I decided after a little prayer to give him the little I had.
Anyways the week went on and I happen to come across by surprise 15 dollars from extra gas money and thought that was cool. But I still was like "Well God I'm going to need about 200$ so I can actually give gifts to the people who bend over backwards to help and give to me".

I just got an email that I along with a few others will be blessed in the fact that I will be getting payed 50$ every weekend I play at my church. And I get a check for november. I am so overjoyed right now. I can't explain how happy I am right now in the fact that when I wake up on Christmas morning there will be a present for someone from me. Which I was seriously doubting.
And there was one other person I needed to give a gift too. And I can probably repair my guitar with decembers check. Thank God. I haven't got a legitimate paycheck from somebody in months.
And my previous job went under too. So I'm really glad God didn't leave me high and dry.

Anyways. I got the little semi formal youth dinner tomorrow night at church.
I'm pretty stoked I love dressing up. I always over due it a bit. But tomorrow night I think I'll actually stick with the semi formal-ish. Anyways, should be good. I wonder how our video turned out sense they had to almost completely re-edit it.

Anyways enough banter.

That will be all.
+Taylor+

P.S EMMAH'S HERE :D

The Deffinition Of My Life Right Now.

I Really, Really, Really Need A Nice Cup Of Coffee Right Now.


Currently Listening:
Nothing In My way
Under The Iron Sea
Keane.

Heart After You.

This video is getting me through today.



God Let My Heart Be Torn In Two, Till Your Will Is Mine.

+Taylor+

The Link

www.myspace.com/thetaylorfineprojects

listen to "The Simple Life".

Read my blog below to know why I posted this.

Please don't take these demo's to seriously by the way haha. I have horrible equipment and restricted time so I just try to make good music and have fun along the way.

Which in this one I did. haha I skatted : P.

But that's all I'll give away.

Recording Break.

Currently Listening:
The Simple Life
The Begining Demos
Taylor Fine

I'm recording my second demo right now called "The Simple Life"

It's kinda Jason Mraz-ish. I like it.

My fingers unfortunately don't, and after about six tries I decided to take a break.

Usually things go a lot smoother but this song is givin' me trouble. But that's good means it's creative.

I'm pretty sure I'll have it done today. I just have to record my Rythmn Acoustic, Lead Acoustic on Bridge (the only place there is a lead), Bass, and then lastly Vocals.

Should be a good song. I'm gunna add a tambourine to it tomorrow. I'm going to have my friend JT do it just cause he's radical and I promised him he'd always play tambourine on my songs haha.

Anyhoo, I'll post up the lyrics for you guys and then tomorrow a link to my music myspace to hear it.
It will be freely downloadable by the way. So here you go.

The Simple Life
By Taylor Fine
It seems that these days I’m lookin’ at the sky
And I wonder if at this speed, it’ll change from blue to white
Oh, everything’s just flyin past me
Whatever happened to the simple life
OH what ever happened to a simple life

(now just slow down and I’ll tell you what happened)

It all started when we were young
And all of are finger paintings began to become
Rembrandts from stick figures that caused us to laugh
Oh, our preschool chants became 32 piece orchestras with funny names, no, no, no nothin’s the same
Now I got nothin’ against growin up, I’ve got everything against trading in my cup
of orange juice for a glass of wine, oh I’m just Fine
The way I am, much to the dismay of uncle sam, I don’t drop the coin in the can
Oh, our playground fights about who’s lunch box is more outasight
Have turned into wars about politics, religion and oh my heart is sore
You say you’re so mature, you may have some facial hair but I am sure
That you never really grew up on the inside, Mr. High So high
Get off your throne, leave us common people alone, we hang up our phones
We don’t have to be involved in your hierarchy, so just go back to cutting down tree’s and pavin concrete over all our memories.
Our multiplyin’ two by two is now what does that hott blondie think about you, Oh she loves you, it’s true,
but don’t get all obsessed on all of that mess just calm down level out.
(Funk Instrumental Bridge)

It seems that these days I’m lookin’ at the sky
And I wonder if at this speed, it’ll change from blue to white
Oh, everything’s just flyin past me

I've Realized

Currently Listening:
Sunburn (Timo Maas Sunstroke Remix)
EP's
Muse

and the Albums "Play" and "Hotel" by Moby

That I love experimental/electronica music.

NOT Techno.
But remix kindof stuff. Ya know like Moby, or this RAD remix of a Sunburn by Muse I have.
Moby does do like rave stuff but at the same time he'll do an alt or a blues song or a easy electronica song. So it's really cool how diverse he is.

And since I'm picking up Piano for my music major I think I'm going to start doing my own stuff once I have a decent knowledge of chords and synth stuff.

I like it cause it's great just easy listening when you're driving or staying up late.

To bad my rents are still down stairs and keep ALL the lights on. I think it's time to sneak up to my room hehe.

I'll need to put on the strobe function on my iTouch too hahahaha mini bedroom RAVE.

I'm a music geek, but I'm okay with this.

I'm Just Fine

+Taylor+

Two Words.

12 Days.

Currently Listening:
Brothers On A Hotel Bed
Plans
Death Cab For Cutie

Right now I really don't care about my thanksgiving holiday.
or my exams in two weeks.
or all my yard work I have tomorrow
I don't care to much about my musical writing right now.
I don't really care about my plans for tomorrow.
I don't care that much about shopping on Black Friday

I do care about the fact I'm seeing my best friend in 12 Days.
12 days............still so surreal to me.
Reality will probably kick in when I give her a hug when she gets here : ).

Now I go to sleep and wake up in a new day.

Live for tomorrow you'll find today
But please don't forget to enjoy the moments along the way

yay for impromtu rhyming. I should be a rapper, I could freestyle me way Striaght Outa Compton.

Slow Dancing In A Burning Room

Currently Listening:
Slow Dancing In A Burning Room
Where The Light Is Live In Los Angeles
John Mayer

I just heard a solo made after 83' Talk, all is not lost.

If you're a musician you understand what I mean by this.


Pretty much amazing guitar solo's that "talked" for the player ceased to exist after stevie ray died and david gilmour played his last show with floyd, and when led zeppelin broke up.


Micheal knows what I mean.


But I just heard a solo made in 07' talk.

Makes me really happy.

I thought good music died when alternative pop cutlure controled music was born.


I was wrong it's alive.


Again if you're not a guitarist or one who respects guitar greatly you have no idea what I'm talking about.

But that's okay : D.


Anyways Thank you John Mayer.

yes I did just say John Mayer, check out his live solo on his new record "live in la" it's the solo on slow dancing in a burning room.
And no I never would've guessed it'd be that either

Haaaaapppyyy Taylor.

My Weekend Happenings (To Answer Emmah's Question)

Currently Listening:
The Great Gig In The Sky
The Dark Side Of The Moon
Pink Floyd

Well this weekend was a very eventful one. It was super rad.
Friday I finished up my application for the Uni in LA and finished the paper for it too.
Met up with my bud Kira at Coffee Republic and we chilled for a bit.

Then I popped in my car and went up to Beckye's for Fri-Sat birthday extravaganza!
I started driving at about 6:45 pm. So I'm on my way up to placerville which is like only a 45 minute drive. So it should be simple right?
Wrong.
I misunderstood Sarah's directions (*cough*herfault*cough*). And I take the wrong exit
I then begin to go and turn left like she says.
and I start driving........and driving..........and driving. Till it's a dark country road and there is NOTHING in sight. So I call her and found out I'm a little off course.
About thirty minutes worth.

So then I pop back on the free way and get there....about around 8 haha. So just an extra little jaunt there. I get there, we chillax have fun, beckye gets surprised. We then at about midnight put on Kate and Leopold. Which was a very good movie I liked it. We then went to bed at about 2:30 AM : D. Makes me happy.
Wake up at like 8 cause that family has people living with them and they are all very, very loud. haha. We then just take it easy that day. Go to Mels Diner for some food. and I drove home.
Sunday was chill too. I went to church, went to the new section of the mall, went out to starbucks with Lana, Rachel and the two Munzie boys. And then home.

Today I had a total stress attack and now I'm trying to calm down to Pink Floyd. I have so much on my mind and so much on my schedual it's ridiculous.
I need three things.

Boardshorts, Board, and Waves.
And I need them now.

But as for now, I'll just sit and wait till I
play That Great Gig In The Sky.


This blog is dedicated to Emmah Scott and her question of what I did this weekend.
You too can adopt a poor Kiwi child by dedicating your blogs by contacting our foundation.
Kiwi Kare.

P.S The New Header picture is one of my own : )

You Have My Attention!

Currently Listening:
You Have My Attention
In Motion ("The Record With The Twig On It")
Copeland

I went to see one of my top favourite bands last night along with another big fav of mine at the boardwalk (local club/bar that has good gigs)

It opened with a random band I've never heard of (as all shows do) And they were okay.
But then Lovedrug came on and it was freakin' awesome. They did a good set, I got to talk with the guy afterwards and he's a cool dude.
Signed my friends shirt :P.

Copeland was the headliner and it was almost as if they asked me which songs to do. It was seriously almost all my personal favourites. They just didn't do California. But honestly that's okay haha.
All I have to say is when he hit "The Note" in You Have My Attention to kill the night it made waiting in a cold line outside worthwhile. So amazing, the boy's go lungs.
Made me want to go home and play music. To bad it was 1 Am and I had to wake up at 8:30 haha. But none the less a great day. I then went to Apple Hill today for some food and stuff with some friends. Saw Kristina by surprise when Iw as there so that was coolio. I got home and just now finished draft 2 of "the college paper". haha it's what I have to write for Masters, so I'm doing a good job on it.

But yeah that's the past 24 hours in a nutshell.
Go Copeland and Lovedrug.

beeteedub, Emmah's actually coming to America in less than a month. So rad, so rad.

+Taylor+

Humanity and A Taylor Fine Update

Currently Listening:
I Will Posess Your Heart
Narrow Stairs
Death Cab For Cutie


I would have to say last night in retrospect was a good night.
Even though I don't think socialism is the best thing for America I have to say that I am proud of the fact the President is African American.

I mean take this into serious thought not just stereotypes.

If this man lived fifty years ago he couldn't even wash his laundry, ride a bus, or watch a movie unless it was specified "black ..." and now he is president.
ON top of that if you think it was only 70-80 years ago the Ku Klux Klan numbered at 6,000,000. And blacks and their friends were dying on burning crosses.

I am not proud to say there is a intensely far right democrat in office but I am proud to say that there is a black man in office.
Dr. King can we begin to sing "That old negro spiritual, free at last, free at last, thank God almighty we are free at last" now?

We will see what the next four years has in store. I am apprehensive about it not gunna lie.

Anyhoo, I'm enjoying beautiful cloudly chipper weather with a nice hot cup of tea with honey infront of Peets and am about to have my mtg. with my CT for my school. Turns out to get into the Uni I'm going to next year I have to have a more advanced version of Algerbra 2 done. When I heard this I was like GUTTED haha. Math is the root of all evil, not money :P. But ah well life goes on. I just gotta make it one more month and I'll have a nice break to relax and chill. So it's all gouda. I still can't believe I'm moving to a Uni next year. So ridiculous, I have to choose my major specifications too. I think I'm going to do worship leading and teaching music (as a college professor NOT high school haha). I might decide to add al ittle recording ont he side too.

Welp my CT is here time for lunch : D. Mmm organic goodness.

+Taylor+